new trailer park boyfriend

Last week, for my internship, I was sent down to a senior citizen mobile home park (the loveliest of all destinations) to cover a fire. A mobile home went ablaze around 9:30, I was there around 10:00 to conduct interviews and meet with the PIO. After my work was complete, I met a friendly old man who lived about four houses down. When I say old, I mean he was most likely learning how to crawl when the Titanic sunk. We talked for a long time about the fire and I asked whether or not he knew the man who had sadly died inside the home.

"Nope," he replied. "But I'm pretty sure he had some relatives that would come by and visit him from time to time."

Although he wanted to rename nameless, I thanked him for his time. He, apparently not seeing my walking away as the end of our conversation, continued talking.

"You with the paper?" he asked.

"Yes," I replied.

"Good for youuu," he said, in a tone normally reserved for a dog that just learned the command "sit" for the first time. "Can I ask you a question?"

I nodded, unaware that I was about to be verbally molested by a man who was probably in elementary school during the Fatty Arbuckle scandal.

He then proceeded to ask me what size pants I wear and wanted to know whether or not I was interested in giving him my phone number so he could "take me out" sometime. Although I declined his offer immediately after it was extended, I might have had a good time. He could have picked me up on his motorized scooter for an early dinner at Ruby Tuesdays and told me all about his first hand account of hearing reports on Mussolini's March on Rome. I went back to the office and thanked my boss (who found this so funny that he laughed so hard he had to remove his tear stained glasses) for the love connection he had provided me with. It never would have worked anyway. I got the feeling I was communicating with a full blown, over the top Republican (i mean to the EXTREME). He was one Fox News segment away from inviting Bill O'Reilly over to his trailer for steaks and some good liberal bashing.


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See yall at the pa'tay Saturday, tis the season. Heres to new beginnings! :)